7 things successful women are thinking

By tapping into positive patterns that work for others, can help you achieve your goals. Like many during this lockdown period, we have been educating ourselves with online seminars and encouraging our creativity, to keep our minds ticking over and becoming our better selves. I have noticed a trend in the things mentioned, and have compiled a list of seven things successful women are thinking, doing and saying.

woman wearing white t shirt and blue denim bottoms
Photo by Chelsi Peter on Pexels.com

I’m worth it!

Successful women know that thinking, “I’m worth it!” isn’t about being better than anyone else. It is about accepting yourself, warts and all, and still knowing you’re worth investing time and effort in. It is being your own best friend, coach and cheerleader rolled into one. Sometimes that means putting yourself first. It is not always easy, especially if you’re used to doing so.

If your self-belief is a bit shaky, investing in yourself is a chicken and egg situation. You’re indeed more likely to look after yourself if you feel good about who you are. Take time to nourish yourself, with healthy eating and lifestyle choices, education, and by doing so, you’ll also nurture your self-esteem. When you feel better about yourself, you’re more likely to stay on track.

What’s gone well today?

Taking the time to remind yourself of the good stuff, what you are grateful for and what’s gone well, does more than make you feel good. It can rewire your brain. As a species, we evolved with better-safe-than-sorry brains that are naturally tuned into adverse events, as these are more likely to be a threat. A side effect is that we can overlook or discount the positive things in life, and that can take its toll on our mood.

It is possible to reset your mind’s negative filter, though, by taking the time to focus on what’s gone well every day and savouring your triumphs. Remember any achievement, however small. Make a note of your successes and compliments your get in a journal, notepad or even on your phone. It is essential to savour your victories, however small because a sense of achievement builds self-esteem. It is also great to have black and white evidence when you are feeling low.

Going over what went well is also a great last thing at night habit. When you’re lying in bed or when you are brushing your teeth, think of 3 things that you are grateful for. Regular gratitude exercises make you feel more optimistic about life. The happier you feel, the easier it is to stick to healthy eating plans, your business plan, or what you’re working towards.

I’m not the only one

Find people who are facing the same challenges. It is very easy to feel alone. It could be an online community, business group or a weekly activity. When you are struggling on your own, and there is no one else to give you a sense of perspective, you can end up feeling trapped and hopeless. Sometimes we need more than just friends and family believing in your confidence and motivation.

That’s why behind every successful woman there’s a tribe of like-minded supporters. If you surround yourself with people who prefer to stay in there comfort zone rather than make changes, you will also remain stuck. People who share your goals instead will give you the support and motivation you need to succeed.

Be part of a group that’s full of people who empathise, not sympathise. People feeling sorry for you will not help. You need people who can step into your shoes and really understand the challenges you’re facing.
Sharing our goals with like-minded people have another benefit, it can make us accountable. Research shows we are more likely to stick to a goal if we’ve told other people about it. While we’re only answerable to ourselves, of course, at times ‘saving face’ can give us an extra incentive.

What can I learn from this?

There’s a reason why ‘learning to fail’ is a hot topic in both business and education. We are finally wising up to the fact that we can learn just as much when things go wrong too. Successful women try to see setbacks as opportunities to learn, not to beat themselves up over. It is ok for it to hurt, and to feel sorry for yourself for a little while. The key is to pick yourself up and think ‘what can I do differently next time’. The more often you do this, the more resilient you become.

By taking away the judgement and blame when we go off track, we can look objectively at a situation and learn from it. There’s no doubt that experience dealing with stumbling blocks improves your long-term chances of success.

One step at a time

When you have significant changes to make, it is hard not to feel overwhelmed by the task ahead. It’s like standing at the bottom of a mountain and looking up to see how far you have to climb. Successful women know that the secret to tackling the big stuff is to break it down into small chunks. For example, I have 7 and a half stone to lose. Thinking of losing over 105lbs is daunting. By breaking it down to 7lbs at a time, in an achievable time frame, makes the task easy to focus on.

Focusing on one step at a time can also help you stay on track when you’re super busy. Sometimes thinking of the weeks ahead can feel overwhelming. So just focus on one day at a time, and think, “what good choices can I make now?”.

I’m only human

It has been identified that conscientiousness as one of the personality traits most likely to lead to success. Conscientious people plan ahead and are prepared to put in the effort. There is a difference between being conscientious and being a perfectionist. Successful women set the bar high, just not so high that they set themselves up to fail.

Perfectionism is one of the most significant barriers to success, and it’s often a secret saboteur. When you’re a perfectionist, there’s no room for failure, and minor slip-ups can make you feel like giving up. When you let go of the need to be perfect, you gain the courage to roll up your sleeves, get stuck in and just have a go.

The future starts today

Everyone starts their business, blog or passion with a different history and your past should not hold you back. While you can’t change yesterday, you can change tomorrow. The secret is making a commitment to a different future.

Dwelling on your regrets is a waste of time and energy. A better use of your time is visualising your ideal future. It is a great technique to help control decisions so that when the real-life situation arises, you are already prepared.

There’s no harm in taking time to daydream and create a detailed picture of what your life will be like when you’ve reached your goal. It is a way of embedding your good intentions in your mind and setting your goals on how to get there. It can lift your mood and rewire your brain.

How are you going to increase your success?

Successful people come from all walks of life, yet they all have one thing in common: where others see impenetrable barriers, they see challenges to overcome. What steps are you going to take, to increase your successes? How can you change your mindset, and what do you need to do to think like a successful woman?

Related Reads

If you’d like to read more on the subject. I highly recommend Vex King’s book Good Vibes, Good Life: How Self-Love Is the Key to Unlocking Your Greatness {Affiliate}. Vex overcame adversity to become a source of hope for thousands of young people, and now draws from his personal experience and his intuitive wisdom to inspire you.

I also love The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck {Affiliate} by Mark Manson, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be “positive” all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people.

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