I’m 34, not 74! Stop asking when I’m going to have a baby! Fuck off! As you can tell it annoys me, a lot. I appreciate that I am classed as a geriatric medically, but don’t assume it is something that I want, or it is something that I can experience.
For all you know, we have been trying but have been left disappointed or that we have miscarried. I haven’t, and I hope that I never have to feel that pain, or further devastation of losing a child which I have witnessed.
Castles in the sky
I would like a child, especially if I could choose a boy? Not sure I would like a girl; is that wrong to say? I just can’t see myself with a little pink frilly thing. But, the timing is not right, and I am sure most parents will say there is never the right time.
We are currently in the process of getting a mortgage and are house hunting – and struggling to find the one. We need a house, a place to call ours. There have been some setbacks, but that is another story. Even though we have been together for six years, we have never lived together. So, I would like to have some time to adjust to the new routine and enjoy being together.
He thinks my expectations are too high. He thinks I am trying to find a £500k house for £200k, with a jacuzzi bath, huge kitchen and acres of garden. He is the one that wants random chairs – apparently, that’s when you know you’ve made it!
The big white wedding
I would like to be married first too. It is traditional and old fashioned, yeah maybe, but I would. Selfishly, I would like the day to be ours and about us and not a day having to think where the baby is or having it clung to me while trying to enjoy an expensive dinner, down a few shots or dance the night away.
To be fair, I don’t think he’ll ever propose, which does hurt. I have put some rules on the occasion, it can’t be anyone else’s engagement date – no Valentine’s, my birthday, Christmas or New Year’s for me. (Sorry, but I think it’s lazy!) I would like a song and dance, let’s be fair, it’s only going to happen once. Maybe, just maybe, he’ll surprise me.
Could you be a foster carer?
A few years ago I worked as the Marketing Manager at a foster care company, and my eyes were really opened up to the neglect there I out there. Yes, there’s the abuse, but the majority are there because their parents cannot care for them by being an addict, having too many children, mental health issues or additional needs. When a new carer is eventually found, they want to look after little ones, and the teenagers in care really resent this.
Actually, 65% of the children in care are teenagers. I think they would be easier to support, at least you can have a conversation with them, take an interest in their hobbies – well some of them, and know that they will be able to let themselves in after school. If I can help bring some stability to a few teenagers, then that’s what I’d like to do.
So, when’s it going to happen?
I would like to have my own children and share my ‘knowledge’ with a few teens – if they think knowing how to successfully and continually be late for work, fall over, drop and bump into the thing continuously is worth knowing. Stop asking when I’m going to have a baby and if it happens let me be the one to tell you!